Wineporn

Why Wineporn? Because using words and images to create a culinary sensation is analagous to showing videos of well-hung Russians and cockhungry cheerleaders to get you off. These are my naughty, sensual meanderings about the wine I love and the food that accompanies it.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Ottimista Superyuppie

Before I start my yuppy-ist tirade, I need to admit that I am part yuppie. I'm half filipino, half white, and like, a third yuppie. I don't have an SUV or a Prius, but I do like goat cheese.

So the bf and I stop in to Ottimista Enoteca on San Fran's Union Street for Sat afternoon brunch, remembering some yummy doughnuts dipped in melted Godiva chocolate. I didn't look the part for Union Street. I was fresh from a soccer game with encrusted sweat, a mildly ripe odor and some bloody astroturf induced strawberries on my shins. Seriously not hot, but whatev, I wanted those f'in doughnuts. Boyfriend wanted to sit on the patio, but the sweatered Unionistas were on fire out there. "Too yuppy, babes," I stated and we walked into the winebar area inside. The decor at Ottimista is impressive, kind of upscale Italian rustic with high ceilings. Its smart too, because the exposed wine bar makes you want to drink, drink, drink! But sitting inside was a mistake. There was only one other set of customers- an uber-yuppie female foursome. I'm not joking here, when we sat down two of them were on their cellphones- at a nice weekend brunch space. One of them had the nerve to roll her eyes at my scruffy appearance, while she talked on a cellphone in a restaurant! Sharing the space with just them meant that we had to hear every 'um', 'like', 'oh my god', and 'eeeeew' they uttered. We started keeping score of the ohmygods versus the eews. Ohmygods beat out eews 12 - 8 in the span of 20 minutes when we had to tune them out or commit seppuku.

But the food rocks. We got those doughnuts. If you've ever had malasadas in Hawaii or Portugal you will understand the impact of these pieces of deepfried orgasm. But then you dip them in pot of melted chocolate. I mean how much do you think our senses can take? Those dougnuts were so good I was able to tune out the highlight-headed hos nearby. Boyfriend and I split an okay salad and a delicious breakfast pizza- you break the fried egg yolk and it runs over the pizza dough - like dipping your bread in the yolk at a diner- but diner bread doesn't have aged cheese and maple bacon. I love this pizza. We enhanced the whole experience with glasses of sparking dry rose that really worked well against the salted meat.

I'm not sure what's going on with the service at Ottimista. This was my second time there and both times the service was pleasant but really inefficient. They rush around madly when there don't seem to be enough customers to warrant it. It took a long time to place our order and a long time for the food to come. I got up and grabbed the mill myself to put ground pepper on my salad. There was no 'check back' once the food was served. But the waitress was sweet when she showed up every hour or so, and the food is good enough to make me put up with service and yuppies every now and then when I happen to find myself on Union Street.

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